Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
