You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
