I heard we made out
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
