Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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