I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize