i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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