Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
