Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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