if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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