I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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