I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
