You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
