You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
