Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
FUCK WHALES
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
