Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
