I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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