you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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