he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
