I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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