Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
