The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
