Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
