coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize