So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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