Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(219): View more from Indiana

So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?

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(601): View more from Mississippi

How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?

(318): View more from Louisiana

Alcohol?

(601): View more from Mississippi

Sex with a fat chick.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.

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(714): View more from California

I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister

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(713): View more from Texas

Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?

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(507): View more from Minnesota

The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.

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