I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
