Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
