Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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