You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
