Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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