so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
