Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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