GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize
