SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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