I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
