ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
