I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
