you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My liver is preforming stress tests.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
