Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
