Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
