One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Is Oprah even human
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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