hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
