i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
the day after is always just damage control
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
lol hangovers are for mortals.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
