True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
