Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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