I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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