So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
