oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
