Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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