He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize