i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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