I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
