If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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