my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
