I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
