But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize