No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I supernannyed him into submission
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize