If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
