i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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