I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
