i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
