so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize