So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
