I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
