low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
