So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
