I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Randomize
