NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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