What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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