Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
