i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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