Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
